Babel: Parent CUE
We just completed a 3-week series about technology which began with the Tower of Babel. What does a tower in ancient times built to reach the heavens and a cell phone have in common? A lot more than you think. The people responsible for the tower of Babel, the uh Babel-ers we’ll call them, took the technology, the tools of their day and used them in a way that elevated themselves and took God out of the picture. And the reality is that you and I have tools in our hands, the technology of our day, that we take and use in similar ways. The technology itself isn’t bad or good. It’s neutral. But like the people of Babel, how we choose to use the technology is important—it reflects the kind of relationship we have with it. And the right kind of relationship with technology will help us to do the right kinds of things with it.
[Note to parents of Middle School Students: We know that many of you have set up guidelines for your kids about how and when they can use different pieces of technology like Facebook, texting, etc. We want you to know that we did our best to uphold those values in our messages. We want to partner with you in creating healthy boundaries and guidance for your students in how they use the technology around them. If you have any questions about how we presented this material, please feel free to ask.]
2. Be a Student of Your Student
Most people know teenagers have technology issues. Here’s an interesting article that might help you understand your teenager—and how they really feel about technology and social media—a little bit better:
We all think our students have addictions and issues with their technological devices. But if you took away an adult’s connection with the outside world—their cell phone, Facebook or Twitter accounts, texting or computer—many of us would find it hard to function too. Technology is a part of all of our lives, not just a student’s. And it’s become such a big part, that many of us aren’t even conscious of how much we check that phone or FB—even in a place you might least expect it. Here’s an article from the Fuller Youth Institute to give us a little food for thought on this idea of technology, and how it affects all of us.
The happiest place to text
By Brad Griffin
Recently I spent a day at Disneyland with my family, riding rides and battling crowds at the “Happiest place on earth.” Despite my cynicism for over-commercialized places and my frustration about marketing to kids…we had a great day and my kids had a blast.
But there was one thing that distracted me over and over throughout the day. It wasn’t all the teenagers attached to their cell phones—I actually saw most of the teenagers engaged in real-life conversations with the people around them.
It was the parents.
I couldn’t help but notice how many parents of kids of all ages were getting off rides and immediately checking their email and text inbox, ripping back responses as they floated behind their kids to the next attraction. Maybe they were bored out of their minds to be spending the day with their kids, but I doubt it. Maybe they were just distracted at that ONE time at the point I happened to see them (and I happened to catch about a hundred of them at just the right time).
Or maybe they forgot what boundaries are and how to give their kids the gift of presence.
I get a lot of things wrong in parenting. But the more I saw this behavior, the more I was determined to completely ignore my phone (and it was my birthday!) to be present to my kids. I have to wonder, though: if this is what kids see at Disneyland from the adults around them (parents or otherwise), what are we as a culture showing them day after day in our “normal” lives?
I suspect that if we want them to put their phones down every now and then, we have to go first.
Originally published at http://fulleryouthinstitute.org. Reprinted with permission from the Fuller Youth Institute.
3. Action Point
In the above article, Brad Griffin talks about “going first” in the battle to create boundaries around the technology that is present in our everyday lives. It’s not that we have to delete our Facebook account or throw our iPhones out the window for dramatic effect. Take the opportunity to model good technology boundaries to our kids so they can start to think critically about the technology that surrounds them everyday, and how they choose to use it.
Two weeks ago we challenged your student to take a break from a particular technology or social media tool for 24 hours. You may have heard the moaning and groaning already if your student made the choice to participate. So, in the spirit of unity and empathy, we are encouraging you to do the same. Make a list of your top 5 favorite social media/technology tools (i.e., Facebook, Twitter, texting, cell phone, phone apps, etc.). Once you have your list, prioritize each of them from one to five (one being the most important/most used and five being the easiest to live without).
Now, here’s where it gets tricky. Just as your student committed to fast from a technology tool for 24 hours, you are going to get rid of the number five on your list for 24 hours. (We’ve tried to make it easier by giving you the option to get rid of your number five, but feel free to get serious and axe number one on your list.) Sit down and show your student your list and then let them know which particular technology you are fasting from. In order to help you both stick to your fast, choose a reward—some sort of activity or special outing—that you and your student can look forward to once you both make it through 24 hours without using your chosen technology. Encourage each other throughout the day and check in to see how things are going. At the end of the day—either during your reward outing or maybe during a mealtime or your morning drive to school—ask each other these questions:
- Was this fast from technology easier or harder than you thought it would be?
- What was the hardest part?
- Were there any unexpected benefits that came from giving up this particular technology? If so, what were they?
- Do you think you would be able to give up this particular technology long-term? If not, could you use it on a more limited basis?
- Name one way that you could use this particular technology to help others or to do something good for someone else.
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